theater

1 March 2019: Greta

This was at least 75% wackier than I expected. Little Chloe continues her streak of picking interesting projects, & Huppert looks like she’s having a blast in the title role. I was surprised at how much this was advertised & how many screens it opened on, but I get it after seeing the movie. A mainstream crowd would have fun with this, too. I hope they give it a try.

20 January 2019: Glass

Listen, give M. Night a break. Sure, this was messy, & the pacing was weird, & a lot of the dialogue was crappy. But isn’t that the case with every single other superhero movie that has come out in the past 20 years? At least these characters are fully realized & unique, & the story is heartfelt & doesn’t just seem like a marketing vehicle. Yes, this is the worst of the trilogy, but I’d watch it over an Avengers movie 10 out of 10 times.

14 December 2018: The Favourite

This is my favorite of Lanthimos’s films so far, & I don’t usually care for period pieces. The performances are flawless, especially Olivia Colman. Damn, where’s she been hiding? Or am I just out of the loop? The humor worked waaaay better here than in his previous films. Because he didn’t write the screenplay this time? If so, let’s have him continue adapting other people’s words. Also, how lovely are those wide-angle shots inside the palace? I even got Barry Lyndon vibes at times with all those candles. In closing, if Rachel Weisz could kindly make out with me, that would be great. Thanks.

23 November 2018: Fantastic Beasts: the Crimes of Grindelwald

Just like the last one, I went in not expecting much & left pleasantly surprised. Johnny Depp does a fine job here, to my absolute amazement. So does Jude Law. Eddie Redmayne’s super-shy shtick is wearing thin by a second movie, but luckily Jacob & Queenie are back to add some personality to the mix. Speaking of Queenie, I adored her storyline, & not just because it meant she was on screen longer (but thanks for that 😍). The most interesting aspect of the wizarding world to me has always been the political side of things, & this movie asks a lot of the questions I like to think about in terms of the magical vs non-magical people. Grindelwald is much the same as Magneto here, in that I can absolutely see why wizards would be attracted to his ideology. 

On the minus side, what was the point of Nagini at all if you weren’t going to let her do anything? And when will they stop wasting Ezra Miller’s talents & let him do something other than slouch & look downtrodden? Otherwise, good show, Jo.

4 November 2018: Suspiria

This is the kind of remake I want to see. What’s the point of slavishly rehashing a movie when we can still watch the original? It’s the same with cover songs - I want the cover artist to make the song their own. Isn’t the combination of an existing work of art & a new interpretation far more interesting? 


The only thing I didn’t enjoy about this remake is the score. Honestly, I think Johnny Greenwood would’ve done a way better job than Thom Yorke. The score may have gone better with the dreary color palate, but it had absolutely no oomph, even after Guadagnino starts to saturate the screen with lurid colors. His collaboration with Sufjan worked very well in CMBYM. This time, not so much.

28 October 2018: Halloween

The story was a little half-baked, & some of the dialogue got a teensy bit cornball, but those are my only qualms. It was fun & exciting, Jamie Lee was wonderful, & I always love seeing Judy Greer. I’d been worried about Danny McBride’s influence, but the few funny moments worked just fine. The wheel wasn’t reinvented, but I don’t think anybody wanted it to be. This shouldn’t give slasher fans any reason to complain.

28 September 2018: Lizzie

Effectively turns the nursery rhyme character into a relatable human being. Unfortunately, most of the other people in her life, especially the antagonist, are caricatures. I felt for Lizzie. God, who wouldn’t? Us women were property back then at best, & if you’re queer?! Forget it. Her plight is heartbreaking enough. We don’t need her father to be the absolute worst person alive for this all to work. That aspect was way overblown. I spent the bulk of the movie screaming MURDER THAT SONOFABITCH ALREADY in my head. 

Also, I’m not so sure about the order events were presented in. Did the nonlinear structure benefit the movie? As of now I’m leaning towards no.

13 September 2018: Mandy

A psychedelic revenge picture with a sick score & bravura performances by Nic Cage & Linus Roache. It’ll be too slow for general audiences, but I enjoyed the crap out of it even before Nic Cage got to go buck wild. It looked really lovely on a big screen, but if you go that route you might want to treat yourself to an edible. They showed so many damn trailers that I was not the least bit stoned by the time the feature started.

9 September 2018: Scotty & the Secret History of Hollywood

Rather than a rehashing of the tell-all book, this doc is a profile of the author with all his quirks. I went in expecting a fun, dishy movie, & ended up being moved to tears by Scotty’s story. We younger gays may think we have it rough, but thankfully we’ll never have to experience the kind of discrimination Scotty’s generation did. I’d never thought about all the gay men who fought in WWII, which is incredibly ignorant of me, considering how many Americans went over there. I’m grateful to this movie for pointing out my ignorance.

21 August 2018: The Miseducation of Cameron Post

I like But I’m a Cheerleader, don’t get me wrong, but this is the type of movie we need about gay conversion camps. Poor Christian kids, man. I can attest that growing up queer in the 90s sucked, but how much worse must it have been for these Christian kids? I’m glad this movie exists, & I’m glad it ended on the note it did. I cared about these kids, & I wanted them to be alright. The boy from Super Dark Times was particularly affecting. The title character here is a bit tough to read, but I can’t ding the movie too much for that. She doesn’t know who she is yet, after all. I like Desiree Akhavan’s style - it’s smart but not glib, & she has empathy for all her characters. 
Off-topic, but I want to have my own gay camp for little queers with religious parents, where they could be themselves & not worry about disappointing anyone. Listen up, shite Christian parents! If you won’t love your kids the way they are, then send them to me & I’ll love them for you. You don’t deserve them.

15 August 2018: The Meg

The only reason I’m even giving this one star is because I wanted to see a scene where Jason Statham rides the giant shark out of the water & it happened. Did they think it was an homage to Jaws to not show the shark for the first hour? You don’t attempt that shit in a big budget blockbuster unless you have great writing & a capable director, & this had neither. John Turtletaub might be one of my least favorite directors ever. Once the fun scenes started happening the movie had already been ruined. Also, they kept trying to create suspense from the characters being down in the water & not knowing where the shark is until it pops out at them. IT’S THE WORLD’S BIGGEST SHARK, HOW DOES IT KEEP SNEAKING UP ON YOU??

12 August 2018: BlacKkKlansman

I would’ve liked more insight into Ron, & the plot meandered a bit. Other than that, it was fabulous. Loved that dance sequence at the club, & loved the way the the three important monologues in the movie were presented. Also loved how uncomfortable my audience was when the upside down flag appeared on screen at the end. Even though they cheered as events unfolded in the movie, they still bristled at that. Shows how much power symbols have.