The Shed, Koko-di Koko-da, Fantasy Island

Hey hey kids! I’m back with a few trailers for flicks that juuust came out. Now listen: I’m just as aware of the title of this page as you are, but technically these movies have most likely not been released in the literal sense in your location, so they may still be new to you. And that Koko-di Koko-da one looks bonkers, so I didn’t want you to miss out.

First up we’ve got The Shed, which was released in the US November 15.

I’ll be honest, after seeing the trailer I’m not super interested in this. It just seems too much like too many other movies. Still, what I’ve read about it has been intriguing, so maybe it’s worth a shot. It’s streaming on Prime video meow.

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Oh boy, this sure seems strange. This one was also released November 15.

Ladies & gentlemen, THIS is how you do a trailer. I have no idea what’s going to happen in this film but I sure as hell want to see it now. Koko-di Koko-da premiered at this year’s Sundance & evidently has a limited theatrical release in the US. Maybe if you live in a very cool city you can catch it, otherwise you’ll have to wait for a streaming date with the rest of us plebes.

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Next up, another reboot. This time the folks at Blumhouse have decided to turn Fantasy Island into a horror movie. It’ll be in theaters on Valentine’s Day 2020. Let’s take a look…

It looks fun enough I guess, in a Monkey’s Paw, be careful what you wish for sort of way. My knowledge of the original series is limited to an SCTV sketch, but it seems like playing up the horror is a new thing, yes? I can get behind a reboot that changes genres. I’m not familiar with any of the attractive young people in this, but they’re likely popular so folks should enjoy watching them die. Sure to make another zillion dollars for Blumhouse.

So if you’re keeping score at home that’s one movie you can watch now, one you can watch very soon & one to look forward to next year. Let me know what you think about these. I’ll be back soon with another batch of new trailers to discuss.

The Turning, Portals, Gretel & Hansel, The Deeper You Dig

Welcome back to Coming Attractions, where we watch trailers for upcoming scurry movies together. First up this time, it’s another remake that has dropped its full title in favor of the ever popular “The Adverbing” trend that I’d like to see die.

Oh how I’d like this not to suck. I’ve been surprised no one has made a Hollywood adaptation of The Turn of the Screw in a long time, but now we’ve got two coming out in 2020. Here’s the first one, & though I read that they leaned heavily on the fantastic 1961 version, I also unfortunately learned that it was written by those brothers who wrote The Conjuring & so many other hacky but high-grossing recent movies. Ah well. At least I can swoon over Mackenzie Davis.

The Turning will be out sometime in 2020

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Next up- an anthology! This one looks to have a bit of a sci-fi bent.

Quite the lineup of talent in this anthology. We’ve got Eduardo Sanchez (Blair Witch, lots of other great stuff) & Timo Tjahjanto (Safe Haven), as well as a couple other guys who produced the Blair Witch & v/h/s franchises. We all like a good anthology & this looks like no exception.

Portals will be in select theaters & on demand October 25

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Well what do you know, another re-imagining of a classic story. Shocking.

Oh hey Sophia Lillis. You really wowed me in the IT movies. I bet you’re going to knock this one out of the park with Osgood Perkins directing you. While I’m sad Oz came on this project midway through & we aren’t getting something totally of his devising next, I’m still pretty dang excited for this. You may remember I’ve been gaga for his other two films.

No firm release date yet, but Gretel & Hansel is slated to come out this winter

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How about something you may not know about yet for our final trailer? Sound good?

This one just played Fantastic Fest last month & the word of mouth has been very positive. It’s a low budget family-made film, with husband, wife & daughter all starring & husband & wife writing/directing. How cool, right? Dunno about you guys, but I’m ready for something original for a change. Hopefully we’ll get to check this one out for ourselves soon.

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Any of these tickle your fancy? If not, what upcoming titles are you looking forward to? Lemme know!

The Haunting of Hill House, Apostle, Climax, Anna & the Apocalypse

Welcome back to Coming Attractions, where we watch trailers for upcoming scurry movies together. First up this time, The Haunting of Hill House. We don’t typically include tv shows here, but it’s Mike Flanagan, so Kitty will beat me up if I don’t.

Well, goodness. That was certainly darker than I’d expected. And it’s a good thing, too - dunno about you guys, but I’ve reached what we in the biz call Flanagan Saturation. Add to his ubiquity the fact that the plot of the oft-adapted classic novel has been completely cast aside & I was ready to give this one a hard pass. The trailer has got me a little intrigued, so for now I’m tentatively back on board. I’m watching you though, Flanagan. Don’t screw this up.

The Haunting of Hill House is streaming on Netflix starting October 12

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Next up- oh, hello, Dan Stevens.

Yep, two Netflix releases in a row. What can I tell you? Netflix has a ton coming out in October. Good thing, too, because their movie selection has been a bit thin as of late. The reviews for this one have been pretty positive, & judging from these clips they’re not going to skimp on the gore. Also, considering this is one half of the writing/directing team responsible for Safe Haven, one of best segments in the V/H/S franchise, we can almost guarantee something horrifying.

Apostle also debuts on Netflix October 12

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Time for something a little different. It’s not going to look like horror at first, but hang with it.

You guys are familiar with with Gaspar Noe, right? The guy who brought us Irreversible & Enter the Void? If you are, & you don’t still hold a grudge against him for putting us through Irreversible, then you’re probably as psyched as I am for this one.

There’s no US release date yet. I’m guessing they’ll wait a while, so as not to be confused by that other dance-related horror movie coming soon.

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Okay, this last one isn’t coming out for a while, but the trailer came out not too long ago.

This one debuted at Fantastic Fest way back in September 2017. Not to be a party pooper, but I’m not super into modern musicals anymore. I suppose this looks cute, but that’s not really what I look for in my horror movies. For all of you not turned off by the singing & dancing, reviews have been very positive so far.

Anna & the Apocalypse opens in limited release November 30

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And I’m spent for now. Join me again next time for more Coming Attractions.

September Roundup

Welcome to September’s coming attractions! One step closer to Halloween, we have a bountiful harvest of horror films to look forward to.

Hostile

A French post-apocalyptic tale. Either you’re into the desolate wasteland subgenre, or you despise it. Our heroine Juliette seems badass enough to hold my attention for a while. It also appears that we have spindly creatures of some sort running around being… creepy.  

Streaming on September 4th (U.S.)

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The Nun

The origin story of Valak the creepy nun/demon who haunts The Conjuring universe. Clearly churches aren’t even the safe havens we were led to believe they were. Unlike the other entries in the series, this looks sacrilegious, bleak and devoid of hope or joy. Sign me up.

In theaters September 7th

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The Predator

They’re back! This time the most deadly hunters in the universe have evolved into something even more frighteningly awesome than before. It appears they’re modifying their DNA with that of other species now. This gives me a hilarious mental image of burly, gnarly Predator scientists in white lab coats mixing concoctions in beakers. Can you see it? Adorable. Anyway, a little boy from Earth has accidentally summoned them here and it’s up to a rag tag crew to stop them! Bring on the profanity and violence.

In theaters September 14th

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Hellfest

A tasty looking morsel of fan service! A group of teen pals go to a huge traveling horror theme park for a night of frights and mazes. It looks like Universal Horror Nights on crack. The kiddos soon find themselves being pursued by a masked foe who is (presumably) actually trying to kill them. I am a total sucker for “teen scream” horror movies. Bonus points if you spotted Tony Todd rocking an epic hat in the trailer.

In theaters September 28th

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The House with a Clock in Its Walls

Okay, this one is a bonus. Many adult horror fans love something creepy they can take the littles to. This one is based off the classic children’s novel by John Bellairs. A young boy goes to stay with his warlock uncle and starts to learn magic too. An evil guy hid a doomsday device in the walls of their home, so that’s going to be a problem. Jack Black, Kyle MacLachlan, and Goddess Incarnate Cate Blanchett star.

In Theaters September 21st

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Which horror titles are you looking forward to in September? Let us know in the comments!

The First Purge, Under the Silver Lake, Revenge, Hereditary

Hello my friends! Welcome back to another Coming Attractions. Let's see what's on the old agender today...

First up - how appropriate - The First Purge

Gonna have to come clean here, guys - I have never watched any of these. I know, they're wildly popular, & some of them are even supposed to be decent. I just can't get past the premise. If one of you readers would like to explain to me how the idea of a purge night could EVER possibly be feasible, by all means go for it. Until then, I'll just be over here rolling my eyes.

This trailer's not changing my mind, either. Especially now I've pretty much learned the entire plot of the movie. And poor Marissa Tomei. I hope she got a big paycheck for this.

The First Purge opens in theaters on July 4.

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Next up, the new movie from David Robert Mitchell, the fella who brought you It Follows.

Doesn't really look like horror, but it does look weird. And I like weird. I do not, however, like Andrew Garfield very much. Gotta admit, though - this trailer's got me. A mystery set in Hollywood with Patrick Fischler from Twin Peaks & Mulholland Drive? Yes, please. Hopefully it doesn't end up being too wacky for its own good.

Opens June 22, 2018

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What've we got next? Oh boy, a good ol' fashioned rape revenge movie!

It's quite easy to see where this movie's going, from the self-explanatory title to the trailer laying it all out for you. And while it probably won't be groundbreaking, it looks like it could be a fun ride. Plus, how many rape revenge movies have been made by women? 

Available May 11, 2018

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I saved the best for last, though I'm guessing most of you have already seen this trailer.

Now THIS looks creepy . I'm not familiar with the director, but I hear he's made some fantastic shorts. You can always count on Toni Collette to bring it, & I'm pleased to see the actor who played Derf Backderf in My Friend Dahmer plays the son here. With all the buzz, & A24's stellar track record, this one has been an exercise in patience & curbing my expectations for months now. Luckily, they've announced the release date. If only I could hide out in a bunker until then.

Hereditary opens in the US June 8.

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This has been your trailer roundup. Which are you excited to see, & why is it Hereditary? Let me know!

Pyewacket, Wildling, Ayla, Caught

No, that title isn't just a bunch of nonsense words. It's a round up of new releases & movies coming soon. They all just happen to have weird/vague titles. That's the way she goes, Bubs.

First up, the next picture from Adam MacDonald, the guy who brought you Backcountry.

Aw don't curse your mom, kid. I know she's mean, but you're probably a pain in the ass. This looks pretty good, & I've been hearing positive things.

Available March 23, 2018 on VOD

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Okay, this next one looks a little bland. But look, Brad Dourif!

Yeah, not so hot on this one. Maybe it'll surprise us, but it looks pretty by-the-numbers. I do like that cast, though. Bel Powley had great screen presence in Diary of a Teenage Girl (in addition to totally looking just like Phoebe Gloeckner).

Opens April 13, 2018

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Well, this is a strange looking movie. It doesn't help matters that the director goes by Elias. Just Elias, like Cher or Roseanne. Huh.

Soooo, we only get a little bit of info from the trailer, which is just how I like it. Dude thinks he sees his dead/disappeared sister, even though his mom (Dee Wallace!) thinks he needs to cool it. And it looks like the 'is she or isn't she' sister in question is played by Tristan Risk, who we enjoyed very much in American Mary. 

This one never got a theatrical release, but you can check it out now on demand. If you do, be sure to let me know how it is!

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Last one for the day is Caught, which looks to put a Men in Black spin on the home invasion sub genre.

This one looks intriguing. I've seen some mediocre reviews, unfortunately, so hopefully they haven't given us all the good bits in the preview.

Caught had a limited release in the US March 30, 2018, but it's not available to stream yet. Might be worth keeping an eye out for this one, no?

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That does it for this round of Coming Attractions. Seen any of these flicks already? Weigh in, don't be shy!

Flatliners, The Shape of Water, Leatherface, The Ritual

I'm back, y'all! And kinda sick, which means I get to lay in bed & watch trailers. First up, oh look, it's my cinematic doppelgänger, Ellen Page. You don't do horror movies, darlin'. Ah, it's a big-budget Hollywood remake. I see.

This looks pretty stinkaroo to me. And not scary! Blah. How about instead we take Kevin Bacon out of all his scenes through the magic of technology & replace him with Ellen Page? Actually, I like Diego Luna, too. Let's swap Julia Roberts out for him.

Opens September 29, 2017

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Next up, a new one from Guillermo del Toro, The Shape of Water. Just a head's up - this one seems to reveal an awful lot about the plot.

Man, Sally Hawkins & Michael Shannon are in everything this year. Can't complain, since they're both great, as is the rest of the cast. I especially love Richard Jenkins. And we know it's going to be pretty, considering who made it. The story just seems a little hackneyed & unoriginal to me. Unless the trailer is purposely misleading...

Opens December 8, 2017

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I can comfortably say I was not clamoring for an origin movie about Leatherface, but here we are. At least this one has some talent behind it - the directing duo Julien Maury & Alexandre Bustillo, who brought us the ultra gory french slasher Inside (À l’intérieur, if you're fancy).

You know something? These guys just might be the perfect successors to Tobe Hooper. The violence in Inside evokes a similar kind of visceral shock that makes the original Texas Chainsaw Massacre an enduring classic. As a bonus, there are some subtle winks to the original to be found here, mostly in the sound design. Looks promising enough to make me forgive the presence of Stephen Dorff.

Opens October 20, 2017

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Last one for the day is The Ritual, based on the 2011 novel by Adam Nevill, & directed by David Bruckner (V/H/S, The Signal, Southbound).

I'm all over this one. Love David Bruckner, love creepy pagan stuff out in the woods, & I've heard lots of good stuff about the book. Sign me up!

Opens in UK October 13, 2017. No US release date yet.

Okja, What the Waters Left Behind, Primal Screen, Awaken the Shadowman

A new Bong Joon Ho movie is always a cause for celebration, & this one looks to be no exception. Some of the snobby Cannes crowd may have been complaining about Netflix releasing features, but I say bring it on. You can watch this one is the comfort of your own home June 28. 

Love the song, love love love the cast, not so sure about that CGI. Whatever. When the guy who made The Host, Mother & Snowpiercer comes out with a new movie, you just watch it.

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Up next we have another feature debuting at Cannes, this one from Argentina. No release date as yet, but we'll keep you posted.

Looks to be an ultra-violent backwoods slasher. Not always my jam, & though there seems to be some weirdness here, I'm not sure it'll be enough to pique my interest.

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This one's coming out in just a couple days, provided you subscribe to Shudder. With all the originals Shudder is creating & movies they're buying up (like Kuso!!), that subscription is looking more & more like a necessity. This is the new Rodney Ascher (Room 237, The Nightmare) documentary, & it premieres June 9.

It looks super cool, but so did the trailers for his other two docs, & I was very unsatisfied with both of them. I won't be moving this to the top of my queue any time soon.

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Last up, Beware the Slenderman. Wait, that's not right. Awakening the Zodiac, the new movie about the Zodiac Killer. No, that's not it, either. Ah, its Awaken the Shadowman, & if you can manage to remember the name you can look for it on July 25.

Wait a tick - is that Designing Women's own Jean Smart? Well, I'll be damned. Still seems to be a strong southern woman, so that's nice. This looks derivative & silly, sure, but also fairly creepy. And I will pretty much watch any halfway decent-looking movie about evil cults, so basically that + Jean Smart = me watching this.

8989 Redstone, The Beguiled, Replace, Dig Two Graves

Here we are again with some new trailers. First up, another movie set in the ruins of Detroit. Joy. But wait, this one's found footage! The guy who made it seems to have directed every single comedy special of the past five years. I have zero idea how that will translate to horror.

Lots of things going on there. You gotta appreciate a trailer that includes de-gloving. Yeesh. With that, the hair-eating & the burned lady, I'd say this miiiight be the kind of dumb fun movie that's perfect for those nights when you don't feel like thinking too hard. Especially since it's available for free on streaming platforms.

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Next up, the new offering from Sofia Coppola, who hasn't made a full-length feature since The Bling Ring. This one gets a limited release June 23. A word of warning - the trailer seems to give a lot away, so proceed with caution.

This certainly seems like a departure for the director, though it's nice to see Kirsten Dunst, who appeared in Coppola's best movie, The Virgin Suicides, back in front of her camera. That being said, I'm not the world's biggest Sofia Coppola fan. Couple that with the presence of Colin Farrell, who I find icky, & that equals waiting till VOD for me.

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Let's go a bit lower budget for our next trailer, shall we? This one is set to open some time in 2017, & it appears to be about a lady who is badly in need of some moisturizer.

That was some gnarly... penetration there. Heh. Gross. Seems a lot like other recent female-centric body horror flicks, which are great when they hit, but can be a real drag when they don't. I'd say wait & check out some reviews.

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And finally, a movie that's already available on demand, but not on free streaming platforms yet. Let's see if it looks worth shelling out the extra $$.

Ooh, yes to black magic rituals! Plus, who doesn't like Buffalo Bill? Something about that weird voice. I'ma watch this, hopefully enjoy me a creepy hillbilly tale.

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That's all for this time, kids. But don't fret - I'll be back soon with good tidings of scary movies for all. Meantime, let me know what you think about this bunch. 

- AP

The Crucifixion, Hounds of Love, It Stains the Sands Red, Besetment

Welcome to the inaugural edition of our new Coming Attractions blog, where we'll share new trailers with you, then we can all have some coffee & discuss. No big whoop.

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Let's kick this off with some good old fashioned exorcisin'. The Crucifixion is made by Xavier Gens, who brought us Frontier(s) (that's good), but as you'll see from the trailer it's brought to us by the producer of Annabelle & The Conjuring 2 (that's bad). No official release date yet, but it's slated to come out in 2017.

Meh. Looks like a lot of jumps scares, though there's some interesting imagery in there. Like that horrendous case of pubic lice! The whole Based on a True Story thing kind of bothers me in movies like this, or The Exorcism of Emily Rose. It's not cool to use real people with epilepsy or mental illness as a springboard for your mediocre horror movies, kids. Remember Auntie Amy told you that.

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And now for some real-life horror - another grim Australian ripped from the headlines flick. This one's kind of cheating, as it's available on VOD now. Also because it's more true crime-y than horror-y, if we're being picky about such things. Anyway, I know lots of people who have seen it, & it seems like a tough but worthwhile watch.

That's an intense trailer, no?

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Okay, on to something a little newer. This one caught my eye because of its bitchin' title, but lo & behold it's made by Colin Minihan, the director of the Grave Encounters movies. No definite release date for this one yet.

Not too badsies, eh? Can't say I'm dying for another zombie movie, but I'll give it a go. The first Grave Encounters was pretty dece, I thought. Not sure if I watched the second one or not...

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Okay, last one - on the opposite end of the cool title spectrum (aka the shitty end) we have Besetment, which comes to VOD June 6.

So, it's an overbearing mother & her son running a hotel, is it? Huh. Seems like well-worn territory to me. And did that suspicious woman just say her name was Millie Coven? Think I'll pass on this puppy.

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That'll do it for this, my very first Coming Attractions post. Remember it fondly. Better yet, let me know if you're looking forward to any of these.