15 | Martyrs

Martyrs
Released: 9/25/2008
Director & Writer: Pascal Laugier
Starring: Morjana Alaoui, Mylene Jampanoi, Catherine Begin
Synopsis: A young woman, Lucie, tracks down the family who may or may not have held her captive and tortured her when she was a child. Things quickly spiral out of control and Lucie enlists the help of her close lady-friend, Anna. However, the monsters that Lucie is fighting become too strong and soon Anna is left alone to pick up the pieces. This alone could be a perfectly acceptable synopsis for a movie, right? Well not this movie. You barely have time to digest the events that unfold in the first "part" of this film before you are forced to experience a whole new level of depravity. It's a feel-good flick for the whole family to enjoy!

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What'd we think of Martyrs?
(Out of 5 stars)

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Our next episode will cover Starry Eyes, a film about one woman's desperate journey to make it big in Hollywood. Unfortunately for our main character, talent is no longer enough to succeed as an actress.

14 | Tusk

Justin Long in Tusk

Tusk
Released: September 19, 2014
Director: Kevin Smith
Writer: Kevin Smith
Starring: Michael Parks, Justin Long, Haley Joel Osment

Synopsis: Wallace Bryton, played by Justin Long, is an obnoxious, douchebaggy host of a popular podcast show, whose premise is that Justin Long travels around, interviewing people from popular/viral youtube videos and then comes home and describes everything to his soft friend, Teddy Croft (Haley Joel Osment). After the kid Wallace traveled  to Canada to interview (the "Kill Bill Kid") kills himself, Wallace is forced to come up with another idea for their podcast episode. Enter Michael Parks as Howard Howe, a strange recluse who is looking for someone to tell his many stories to. Wallace takes him up on the offer and soon finds himself a prisoner in Howe's crazy walrus fantasy. Yes, you heard correctly...Howard has a walrus fantasy. He wants (and eventually succeeds) to turn Wallace into a walrus. Was this a horror movie or a comedy? Whatever it is, I'm sure this will be the last time I watch it. 

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What'd we think of Tusk?
(Out of 5 stars)

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Here are a few of our favorite quotes from Michael Parks' character, Howard Howe:

“I believe we are all tea people.”

— Howard Howe

“Cute? Cute is for Chinese babies, Mr. Bryton. My walrus companion was beautiful.”

— Howard Howe

“Typical spider...legion of legs.”

— Howard Howe

“Is man, indeed, a walrus at heart?”

— Howard Howe

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We aren't the only ones who happen to think that mustachioed Justin Long looks a helluva lot like Carrie Brownstein dressed as a man. Once again, the internet has come through and proven itself to be wonderful.

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Next, we'll be giving our much-requested opinion on, what is often listed as a rather disturbing movie, Martyrs. We're really going out on a limb here by asking Karen to watch it but, who knows...maybe she'll like it.

13 | AHS: Freak Show (Ep. 13)

Watch the grand finale with us! It'll be like we're right in your living room with you. Or wherever you watch TV. Hopefully not on the toilet, or somewhere gross like that.

American Horror Story: Freak Show, Season 4, Episode 13
Title: "Curtain Call"
Aired: 01/21/2015

Synopsis: Dandy is trying to get everyone ready for the show - the show that Dandy now owns. However, when Paul tells him that not one ticket has been sold, we are blessed with a Dandy fit. He insults the acts, telling them they're terrible and they turn around and punch him (Amazon Eve), tell him that he'll never be one of them, and then they all quit. Elsa is out in Hollywood trying to make it but is finding it much harder than she'd thought. Dandy takes out almost all of the show players and kidnaps the twins so they can finally be together - but they have other plans. How will it end for the Freak Show folk?!

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12 | AHS: Freak Show (Eps 11 & 12)

American Horror Story: Freak Show

American Horror Story: Freak Show, Season 4, Episode 11
Title: "Magical Thinking"
Aired: 01/07/2015

Synopsis: After poor Dot's heart is broken by Jimmy Darling, the twins decide they are better off on their own and they decide to find another "special guy" to take their virginity. They don't have to look far - we have a new character...meet Chester the traveling salesman, magician, and skilled ventriloquist. Elsa realizes that Chester is "good with numbers" so she decides to sell the show to him for $1,000! Dandy learns that Chester and the twins are now lovers so of course he pays Chester a friendly visit. We learn what actually happened when Jimmy made the deal to sell his hands - it is not a nice as I had hoped (what was I thinking?!). Maggie and Desiree return from their gals trip up north and Desiree confronts Dell, who is forced to pay the consequences for what he did to Ma Petite. 

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American Horror Story: Freak Show, Season 4, Episode 12
Title: "Show Stoppers"
Aired: 01/14/2015

Synopsis: Elsa's farewell party takes an unfortunate turn when it's revealed that Chester will take over as owner of the freak show. Stanley finally pays the price for his role in all the freak murders (it's about GD time!). Elsa pays a visit to Jimmy and informs him of Dell's death (way to kick a guy when he's down). She also lets him know that a friend of hers will lend him a hand (eh? eh?) with getting out of his current predicament. Maggie volunteers to be Chester's assistant but bites off a little more than she can chew. Ever trying to eff things up for any potential suitors of the twins', Dandy shows them what his detective has discovered about Chester. They freak out and run away.

11 | American Mary

American Mary

Released: 9/20/2012
Directors & Writers: Jen & Sylvia Soska
Starring: Katharine Isabelle, Antonio Cupo, Tristan Risk

Struggling med school student, Mary, finds herself in the world of underground body modification surgery as a way to make some quick money. After a vicious attack by one of her professors, Mary falls deeper into this bizarre world of split tongues and sub-dermal implants. Not only is she the underground community's go-to surgeon, but Mary has a dark secret of her own hidden away. Eventually, Mary's handiwork catches up to her and we're left to wonder whether it was all worth it.

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What'd we think of American Mary?
(Out of 5 stars)

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Next, we'll be watching another attempt at horror from Kevin Smith. That's right, we'll be watching Tusk. So that you can prepare yourself for...whatever this movie is, here is the trailer:

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10 | AHS: Freak Show (Eps 9 & 10)

Dapper Dandy

American Horror Story: Freak Show, Season 4, Episode 9
Title: "Tupperware Party Massacre"
Aired: 12/10/2014

Synopsis: Still distraught over the loss of his mother (and Ma Petite), Jimmy Darling sinks into a drunken depression, which causes him to do things he'd normally not do - and we'd really rather not see. Dandy is up to his usual hijinks and is getting much more comfortable with murder. Bette and Dot are finally at the point (or so they think) where they have to decide whether or not to actually go through with the separation surgery. Much like the last episode, this one doesn't hold back on the blood and murder.

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American Horror Story: Freak Show, Season 4, Episode 10
Title: "Orphans"
Aired: 12/17/2014

Synopsis: This episode gives us the rather heartbreaking backstory for pepper, which takes us from the freak show tent to Briarcliff Manor. That's right, they've finally made the official connection to AHS: Asylum (arguably the best season of the entire series). Pepper's husband dies in his sleep (suspicious) and Stanley is all too quick to take advantage. Finally, poor Jimmy, arrested for Dandy's crimes in the last episode, is forced to part with two very important things in exchange for top legal counsel.

9 | The Babadook

The Babadook
Released: November 28, 2014
Director: Jennifer Kent
Writer: Jennifer Kent
Starring: Essie Davis, Noah Wiseman

Synopsis: A single mother, still plagued by her husband's untimely and violent death, struggles to free her son from his intense fear of a monster in the house. She soon realizes that his fears may be more than simple childhood fantasy.

If you're like me and want to know if one could possibly order a copy of The Babadook book, then you're in luck. The book, albeit a bit on the pricey side, is available to order here. I can think of some bratty kids I'd like to read it to...

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What'd we think of The Babadook?
(Out of 5 stars)

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In this episode we spend a little time talking about the short film, Monster, which served as the inspiration for The Babadook. If you haven't seen it yet and want to check it out, we highly encourage it!

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For our next movie, we will be covering American Mary, a film that touches on med school, student debt, and the world of underground body modification surgeries. This is not your typical horror movie but it's definitely worth the watch!

8 | AHS: Freak Show (Eps 7 & 8)

American Horror Story: Freak Show, "Test of Strength"

American Horror Story: Freak Show, Season 4, Episode 7
Title: "Test of Strength"
Aired: 11/19/2014

Synopsis: Daddy issues seem to be prominent in this episode. Following yet another act of violence, the ladies of Elsa's freak show join forces to stand up against Dell. Jimmy Lobsterclaws realizes that Dandy may not have the best of intentions when it comes to Bette and Dot and tries to urge the twins to leave. Yet another murder plot from the ever-persistent Stanley. However, we finally see him follow through on this one. Penny's Dad does something for his daughter that will change her life forever. A "big" character finally gets killed off - no more Stanley fantasies.

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American Horror Story: Freak Show, "Bloodbath"

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American Horror Story: Freak Show, Season 4, Episode 8
Title: "Bloodbath"
Aired: 12/3/2014

Synopsis: Recent violent episodes around camp and the discovery of a dead freak raise Ethel's suspicion of Elsa. Stanley and Elsa team up for a rather grisly project. Gloria makes a last ditch effort to control dear ol' Dandy's bloodlust. There is no shortage of death in this episode. No shortage of overacting, either.

Buzzfeed's "14 Reasons You Have a Crush on Dandy"

Buzzfeed's "How Finn Wittrock Became One of the Year's Most Talked About New Stars"

7 | The Texas Chainsaw Massacre

In celebration of its 40th anniversary rerelease in BluRay, in this episode we cover the classic slasher film, The Texas Chainsaw Massacre. We also spend some time at the end comparing it to the 2003 remake, starring Jessica Biel. What is it that makes this horror movie stand the test of time and remain, to this day, one of the most terrifying films? Who was responsible for funding the making of this movie? We touch on all sorts of stuff - Enjoy!!

The Texas Chainsaw Massacre (1974)

Five friends visiting their grandfather's house in the country are hunted and terrorized by a chain-saw wielding killer and his family of grave-robbing cannibals.

Director: Tobe Hooper

Writers: Kim Henkel (story), Tobe Hooper (story)

Stars: Marilyn Burns, Edwin Neal, and Allen Danziger

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What'd we think of The Texas Chainsaw Massacre?
(Out of 5 stars)

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During this episode, Amy references these two books: Men, Women, and Chainsaws by Carol J. Clover and Shock Value by Jason Zinoman.

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The Texas Chainsaw Massacre (2003)

After picking up a traumatized young hitchhiker, five friends find themselves stalked and hunted by a deformed chainsaw-wielding killer and his family of equally psychopathic killers.

Director: Marcus Nispel

Writers: Kim Henkel (1974 screenplay), Tobe Hooper (1974 screenplay), Scott Kosar (screenplay)

Stars: Jessica Biel, Johnathan Tucker, Andrew Bryniarski

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What did we think of the 2003 Texas Chainsaw Massacre remake?
(Out of 5 stars)

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The next movie we'll be discussing will be the much anticipated (at least by Amy and Jamie) Australian film, The Babadook. Check out the trailer and then watch the movie for yourself. It has a limited theater release but is available on demand.

Our next podcast episode will be a quick recap and review of episodes 7 & 8 of American Horror Story: Freak Show.