The Bloodlust

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14 | Tusk

 
Justin Long in Tusk

Justin Long in Tusk

14 | Tusk
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Tusk
Released: September 19, 2014
Director: Kevin Smith
Writer: Kevin Smith
Starring: Michael Parks, Justin Long, Haley Joel Osment

Synopsis: Wallace Bryton, played by Justin Long, is an obnoxious, douchebaggy host of a popular podcast show, whose premise is that Justin Long travels around, interviewing people from popular/viral youtube videos and then comes home and describes everything to his soft friend, Teddy Croft (Haley Joel Osment). After the kid Wallace traveled  to Canada to interview (the "Kill Bill Kid") kills himself, Wallace is forced to come up with another idea for their podcast episode. Enter Michael Parks as Howard Howe, a strange recluse who is looking for someone to tell his many stories to. Wallace takes him up on the offer and soon finds himself a prisoner in Howe's crazy walrus fantasy. Yes, you heard correctly...Howard has a walrus fantasy. He wants (and eventually succeeds) to turn Wallace into a walrus. Was this a horror movie or a comedy? Whatever it is, I'm sure this will be the last time I watch it. 

What'd we think of Tusk?
(Out of 5 stars)

Here are a few of our favorite quotes from Michael Parks' character, Howard Howe:

“I believe we are all tea people.”
— Howard Howe
“Cute? Cute is for Chinese babies, Mr. Bryton. My walrus companion was beautiful.”
— Howard Howe
“Typical spider...legion of legs.”
— Howard Howe
“Is man, indeed, a walrus at heart?”
— Howard Howe

We aren't the only ones who happen to think that mustachioed Justin Long looks a helluva lot like Carrie Brownstein dressed as a man. Once again, the internet has come through and proven itself to be wonderful.

Next, we'll be giving our much-requested opinion on, what is often listed as a rather disturbing movie, Martyrs. We're really going out on a limb here by asking Karen to watch it but, who knows...maybe she'll like it.

11 | American Mary

 
11 | American Mary
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American Mary

Released: 9/20/2012
Directors & Writers: Jen & Sylvia Soska
Starring: Katharine Isabelle, Antonio Cupo, Tristan Risk

Struggling med school student, Mary, finds herself in the world of underground body modification surgery as a way to make some quick money. After a vicious attack by one of her professors, Mary falls deeper into this bizarre world of split tongues and sub-dermal implants. Not only is she the underground community's go-to surgeon, but Mary has a dark secret of her own hidden away. Eventually, Mary's handiwork catches up to her and we're left to wonder whether it was all worth it.

What'd we think of American Mary?
(Out of 5 stars)

Next, we'll be watching another attempt at horror from Kevin Smith. That's right, we'll be watching Tusk. So that you can prepare yourself for...whatever this movie is, here is the trailer:

10 | AHS: Freak Show (Eps 9 & 10)

 
Dapper Dandy

Dapper Dandy

10 | AHS: Freak Show (Ep 9)
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American Horror Story: Freak Show, Season 4, Episode 9
Title: "Tupperware Party Massacre"
Aired: 12/10/2014

Synopsis: Still distraught over the loss of his mother (and Ma Petite), Jimmy Darling sinks into a drunken depression, which causes him to do things he'd normally not do - and we'd really rather not see. Dandy is up to his usual hijinks and is getting much more comfortable with murder. Bette and Dot are finally at the point (or so they think) where they have to decide whether or not to actually go through with the separation surgery. Much like the last episode, this one doesn't hold back on the blood and murder.

 

American Horror Story: Freak Show, Season 4, Episode 10
Title: "Orphans"
Aired: 12/17/2014

Synopsis: This episode gives us the rather heartbreaking backstory for pepper, which takes us from the freak show tent to Briarcliff Manor. That's right, they've finally made the official connection to AHS: Asylum (arguably the best season of the entire series). Pepper's husband dies in his sleep (suspicious) and Stanley is all too quick to take advantage. Finally, poor Jimmy, arrested for Dandy's crimes in the last episode, is forced to part with two very important things in exchange for top legal counsel.

9 | The Babadook

 
9 | The Babadook
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The Babadook
Released: November 28, 2014
Director: Jennifer Kent
Writer: Jennifer Kent
Starring: Essie Davis, Noah Wiseman

Synopsis: A single mother, still plagued by her husband's untimely and violent death, struggles to free her son from his intense fear of a monster in the house. She soon realizes that his fears may be more than simple childhood fantasy.

If you're like me and want to know if one could possibly order a copy of The Babadook book, then you're in luck. The book, albeit a bit on the pricey side, is available to order here. I can think of some bratty kids I'd like to read it to...

What'd we think of The Babadook?
(Out of 5 stars)

In this episode we spend a little time talking about the short film, Monster, which served as the inspiration for The Babadook. If you haven't seen it yet and want to check it out, we highly encourage it!

For our next movie, we will be covering American Mary, a film that touches on med school, student debt, and the world of underground body modification surgeries. This is not your typical horror movie but it's definitely worth the watch!

7 | The Texas Chainsaw Massacre

 

In celebration of its 40th anniversary rerelease in BluRay, in this episode we cover the classic slasher film, The Texas Chainsaw Massacre. We also spend some time at the end comparing it to the 2003 remake, starring Jessica Biel. What is it that makes this horror movie stand the test of time and remain, to this day, one of the most terrifying films? Who was responsible for funding the making of this movie? We touch on all sorts of stuff - Enjoy!!

7 | The Texas Chainsaw Massacre
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The Texas Chainsaw Massacre (1974)

Five friends visiting their grandfather's house in the country are hunted and terrorized by a chain-saw wielding killer and his family of grave-robbing cannibals.

Director: Tobe Hooper

Writers: Kim Henkel (story), Tobe Hooper (story)

Stars: Marilyn Burns, Edwin Neal, and Allen Danziger

What'd we think of The Texas Chainsaw Massacre?
(Out of 5 stars)

During this episode, Amy references these two books: Men, Women, and Chainsaws by Carol J. Clover and Shock Value by Jason Zinoman.

The Texas Chainsaw Massacre (2003)

After picking up a traumatized young hitchhiker, five friends find themselves stalked and hunted by a deformed chainsaw-wielding killer and his family of equally psychopathic killers.

Director: Marcus Nispel

Writers: Kim Henkel (1974 screenplay), Tobe Hooper (1974 screenplay), Scott Kosar (screenplay)

Stars: Jessica Biel, Johnathan Tucker, Andrew Bryniarski

What did we think of the 2003 Texas Chainsaw Massacre remake?
(Out of 5 stars)

The next movie we'll be discussing will be the much anticipated (at least by Amy and Jamie) Australian film, The Babadook. Check out the trailer and then watch the movie for yourself. It has a limited theater release but is available on demand.

Our next podcast episode will be a quick recap and review of episodes 7 & 8 of American Horror Story: Freak Show.

6 | AHS: Freak Show (Eps 5 & 6)

 
American Horror Story: Freak Show, "Pink Cupcakes"

American Horror Story: Freak Show, "Pink Cupcakes"

6 | AHS: Freak Show (Eps 5 & 6 )
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American Horror Story: Freak Show, Season 4, Episode 5
Title: "Pink Cupcakes"
Aired: 11/5/2014

Synopsis: Stanley and Maggie hatch multiple plans to take out some of the freaks - Stanley is pretty obsessed with getting an exhibit into the Mutter Museum...
Gloria continues to enable her dear little manchild, Dandy, by covering up his latest murder. A sexy encounter with Jimmy Lobsterclaws ends with a trip to the doctor where Desiree learns that she may not be the "freak" she grew up thinking she was.

American Horror Story: Freak Show, Season 4, Episode 6
Title: "Bullseye"
Aired: 11/12/2014

Synopsis: Elsa begins preparations to unveil her dangerous new act, the Spinning Wheel of Death. Stanley and Maggie continue to hatch murderous plots against the freaks, with Maggie becoming more and more reluctant to participate. We not only discover Paul and Elsa are secret nighttime lovers but we also learn that Paul has been sharing his secret circus tricks with another lady.

In our next episode, we'll be discussing the original Texas Chainsaw Massacre (in honor of its 40th Anniversary Blu Ray release) and comparing it to the 2003 remake with Jessica Biel. 
So, in case you've been living under a rock for the past 40 years (or your name is Karen) and haven't seen the original TCSM, check out the trailer and give it a watch.

You can also check out the trailer for the 2003 Texas Chainsaw Massacre remake starring Jessica Biel in all her wet, white-shirted glory.

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4 | Ouija & AHS: Freak Show (Eps. 2 & 3)

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We discuss new release Ouija in this episode, and the type of Xmas lights you can leave up all year. We also take a ride down to creepy clown town for American Horror Story: Recap. Have at it!

4 | Ouija & AHS: Freak Show (Ep 3)
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Ouija (2014)

A group of friends must confront their most terrifying fears when they awaken the dark powers of an ancient spirit board.

Director: Stiles White

Writers: Juliet Snowden, Stiles White

Stars: Olivia Cooke, Ana Coto, Daren Kagasoff

What'd we think of Ouija?
(out of 5 stars)

The next time you hear from us, we'll be playing catch-up with American Horror Story: Freak Show so we will be reviewing two episodes.

2 | V/H/S & V/H/S/2

 

In episode two we tackle the V/H/S movies, which illustrate the age-old adage that you should never get caught up watching home videos when you sneak into someone's house. Just like last time we do a lot of spoiling here, so you've been warned. Enjoy!

2 | V/H/S & V/H/S/2
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The Movies

V/H/S (2012)

When a group of misfits is hired by an unknown third party to burglarize a desolate house and acquire a rare VHS tape, they discover more found footage than they bargained for.

What'd we think of V/H/S?
(out of 5 stars)

V/H/S/2 (2013)

Searching for a missing student, two private investigators break into his house and find collection of VHS tapes. Viewing the horrific contents of each cassette, they realize there may be dark motives behind the student's disappearance.

We also discuss the upcoming release V/H/S: Viral. You can see the trailer here.

What'd we think of V/H/S/2?
(out of 5 stars)

1 | Oculus & Absentia

 

Welcome, betchez, to the inaugural episode of The Bloodlust - the savvy viewers' guide to the best, worst, and most ridiculous that the horror genre has to offer.

1 | Oculus & Absentia
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We start things off by discussing Oculus and Absentia, two films by director Mike Flanagan. Did we like them? Did we think they sucked? Listen and find out.

We spoil the crap outta both these movies, so - heads up

The Movies

Absentia (2011)

A woman and her sister begin to link a mysterious tunnel to a series of disappearances, including that of her own husband.

Director: Mike Flanagan, Writer: Mike Flanagan, Stars: Katie Parker, Courtney Bell, Dave Levine

What'd we think of Absentia?
(out of 5 stars)

Oculus (2013)

A woman tries to exonerate her brother, who was convicted of murder, by proving that the crime was committed by a supernatural phenomenon.

Director: Mike Flanagan, Writers: Mike Flanagan, Jeff Howard, Stars: Karen Gillan, Brenton Thwaites, Katee Sackhoff

What'd we think of Oculus?
(out of 5 stars)

We also refer to Oculus: Chapter 3 - The Man with the Plan (2006), the inspiration for Oculus, which you can watch here.

In the next episode, we'll be looking at V/H/S and V/H/S/2.