Best Horror of 2017 | Sandra's Picks

Happy 2018, ya little creeps! Welcome to my list. I did miss out on seeing a few horror offerings from 2017 that probably would have made the cut. But from the grip of movies I did see, here’s my favorites.

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Honorable Mention | The Shape of Water dir. Guillermo del Toro

This movie is not a horror movie. So I won’t try to shove it on to my top 10. BUT it is a creature movie. And it is Guillermo, who I consider to be modern day horror royalty, while also a potential future husband of mine.

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10 | Mother! dir. Darren Aronofsky

I love me a good old fashion polarizing piece of art. I’m a big fan of Aronofsky and his genre defying works. This movie is at times horrific, lordy yes. Whether you loved it or hated it, this movie gets people talking and thinking. That’s the type of discussion Aunt Sandy lives for.

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9 | Annabelle: Creation dir. David F. Sandberg

As a big fan of the creepy doll trope, this movie did not disappoint. Unlike that first Annabelle stand alone, which really disappointed. How about the cast of great young actresses here? Wow. I enjoy a period horror piece that manages to feel authentic. AC nicely has a tie in to the upcoming Nun/Valak feature in a way that makes me excited to explore more of this Conjuring universe.

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8 | Happy Death Day dir. Christopher Landon

I am a sucker for a “teen scream” vibe horror movie. Good or terrible, I usually enjoy them. Happy Death Day stood out for me because it was smart, funny, ultimately self-referential, but still gives the audience some scares and violence for their time. The casting choices here were spot on, especially with Jessica Rothe managing to carry this movie on her shoulders. A lesser actress wouldn’t have the charisma and chops to pull it off like she did.

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7 | 1922 dir. Zak Hilditch

Based on a phenomenal short story by the master, Stephen King, comes another historical horror offering. Director and writer Hilditch managed to craft something true to the novella, but still strong enough to stand on its own. Thomas Jane embodies the role of Wilfred James to a disturbing level. Can someone give this man an acting trophy, please?

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6 | Creep 2 dir. Patrick Brice

A damn fine horror sequel. Yes, you most definitely can see Creep 2 without having seen Creep, but do yourself a favor and watch both of these fantastic films. Mark Duplass is a serial killer in a rut. Will filmmaker Sara help him get his grove back? I was happy with Desiree Akhavan as the badass lady documentarian who manages to stand toe-to-toe with one of the creepiest of creeps around. Thanks for the memories, Aaron…er…or is it Josef? Who the hell knows.

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5 | Gerald’s Game dir. Mike Flanagan

Mr. Flanagan has become one of my most favorite horror directors. Mike and Jeff Howard managed to make a fantastic adaptation of a Stephen King story. Like many female horror fans, I devoured this feminist psychological thriller. I felt an emotional connection to Jesse, a true survivor, beautifully played by Carla Gugino. Let’s hope 2018 gives us more kickass women.

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4 | IT dir. Andy Muschietti

One of my favorite King novels got one hell of a face lift in 2017. The changes made were completely justified and did nothing but add dimension and originality to the story. The heart, humor, and nostalgia rang true to the book. This young ensemble cast can outperform actors twice their age. Perhaps most importantly? The movie is creepy af.

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3 | Raw dir. Julia Ducournau

This movie was love at first viewing. Raw was a breath of cool air for me. Here is one of those stories that makes me excited for all the places horror can go in the future. Mix together a girl’s coming of age tale, body horror, cannibal feasting, and gore. Serve fresh.

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2 | The Blackcoat’s Daughter dir. Oz Perkins

Hi Oz Perkins. Keep making horror films and I will gobble each one up. Another female led cast on my list, and deservedly so. Cold, bleak, beautiful, fatalistic, and unsettling. This was one of those scary tales that grabbed me and hasn’t relinquished its hold after several months and viewings.

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1 | Get Out dir. Jordan Peele

Sometimes, the hype is real. Those of us in the horror community know that our beloved genre has depth. Our movies (and books) often get looked over by the snobs out there despite the social messages and cultural reflections they offer. Once in a while, a horror film can break through that elitist crust and remind the world we are here, we are smart, and we have good stuff to offer. Get Out added something important and relevant to a national conversation about ethnicity in our country. It also managed to do it while being creepy, inventive, and entertaining as hell.

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The Magnificent 7: A Ranking of AHS Characters

The Magnificent 7...In Sandra’s opinion, anyway. I am one of the few people I know who have been a consistent fan of every season of American Horror Story. Granted, I don’t love each season equally. I have my favorites (Coven) and least favorites (Asylum) yet, I still stand by my claim of liking every season of this show. Therefore, I thought it would be fun to share with all the Blood-lusters out there my most beloved characters from the seasons thus far. And why not pick 7, in keeping with the AHS theme? I can’t wait to see if anyone from Cult makes the list, eventually.

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7. Agnes Mary Winstead - "The Butcher" (Season 7, AHS: Roanoke)

Kathy Bates acts her bloomers off in this one; as Agnes, she’s hilarious. The poor woman became obsessed with the “connection” she felt to her character, "The Butcher." Remember how she attacked tourists on the streets of Hollywood?! I loved the overall meta thing that was going on with the whole season, and her portrayeal of a jaded actress was the epitome of it. However, when she donned her period attire, the woman came across as a humorless, stone-cold killer. Kathy Bates freakin’ rules. I’ll always support an evil Matriarch.

6. Fiona Goode (Season 3, AHS: Coven)

Speaking of evil matriarchs, we can’t forget about my favorite offering from Jessica Lange. Fiona Goode is a complicated lady, to say the least. Most of the time, I couldn’t decide if I loved or hated her, which is a testament to Lange's stellar acting abilities. She could be a confident, brash, charismatic leader of Witches in one scene, and the next, a pitiful woman who knew she sucked as a mom and was petrified of aging/dying. Bless the AHS crew for ALWAYS giving us plenty of meaty roles for ladies. But this one is probably the best. Probably.

5. The Countess - aka Elizabeth (Season 5, AHS: Hotel)

You didn’t think I would ignore this lovely lady, did you? Talk about layers! The Countess was her own magical creature, never mind the fact she’s also a vampire; she’s bisexual, beautiful, gory, vulnerable, cunning, fashionable, frightening, nurturing, powerful, a fighter...I mean, my god, must I really go on?? In short, don’t hate, appreciate.

4. Dandy Mott (Season 4, AHS: Freakshow)

What a weirdo. A handsome, yet, spoiled mama’s boy who refuses to escape the incredibly creepy land of make-believe he calls home. He and his mom purchase people to be his playthings. He has a lust for murder. He picks a killer clown to be his mentor. He drinks cognac from a crystal cup with a baby bottle nipple on it. This may be the most disturbed man-child ever, but Dandy sure made for some compelling, repulsive, and hilarious TV.

3. Papa Legba (Season 3, AHS: Coven)

Ahhh, my celebrity crush. Papa made for a great addition to the third season of AHS. He was scary, of course, but not without his charms. An old, manipulative spirit with a hankering for tasty, tasty, souls. You can’t say he’s unfair or dishonest! You just gotta be careful what you wish for, kids! Piercing red eyes, face paint, magic powers, and a fancy hat are all it takes to worm your way into my heart.

2. Tate Langdon (Season 1, AHS: Murder House)

Let’s not get it twisted, this dude is a psychopath. However, his character is what really drew me into this first season becuase I had to know how his story ended. I felt for him; Tate is disturbed, but charming. He was the first hint of what characters still to come for this season would be like, as well as all that have followed, thus far. You can easily both like and despise these characters Ryan Murphy creates for us. You can also expect to have unreliable narrators, who paint themselves as tragic heroes in their own warped stories.

1. Liz Taylor (Season 5, AHS: Hotel)

All hail the Queen! Liz got under my skin in a way that is RARE for a television character to accomplish. She was the den mother to the band of lost souls drifting around The Cortez. Her life had not been easy, and she was certainly not without her faults. Liz doled out wisdom, tough love, and a message of self-acceptance. The lady is a survivor. I will be forever grateful that Liz Taylor got the happy ending, and love she deserved at the end of her season.

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Honorable Mentions

James March (Season 5, AHS: Hotel)

This character would probably have been downright boring in the hands of another actor but luckily, Evan Peters turned this murder-obsessed creep into someone you would actually want to hang out and have a brandy with on Devil’s Night. He was so damn funny, despite being really disturbing.

Dot & Bea Tattler (Season 4, AHS: Freakshow)

Sarah Paulson is an AMAZING actress so I feel guilty her characters don’t feature more prominently on my list. She deserves all the acting awards ever. Period. Her turn as the Tattler twins was astounding to watch, and each girl was so different, so unique. They had my compassion without being pitiful. Plus they’re a couple of the rare instances of characters from this show who actually get a happy ending.

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Top 10 Horror Movies to Watch With Your Kids

You may not know this, but I’m a proud auntie! I just gained a new nephew and now I’ve even got a niece on the way, too! And like all good horror fans, I’m counting down the days until I can introduce them to the wonderful world of spooky, supernatural, creepy, and fantastical cinema. Here’s my own personal top 10 list of childhood favorites that helped shaped me into the loveable weirdo I am today. I can’t wait to one day share these with my little circle of critters.

10. Beetlejuice (1988)

This is one of the earliest “scary” movies I can remember watching as a kid. The only part that legitimately freaked me out was when those weird talon-hand things reach out of the soup bowls in the “Day-O” dinner scene. The effects are macabre, but cartoonish, over the top, and silly. Plus, didn’t we all have little crush on Michael Keaton as Betelgeuse? Good, me neither.

9. The Adventures of Ichabod (1949)

This one is usually found in a double feature, along with Mr. Toad. It’s a super simple mini-movie from Walt Disney, narrated in a jaunty musical fashion by the famous crooner, Mr. Bing Crosby. I watched this tale of the unfortunate school teacher and his headless horseman foe EVERY Halloween, and it wasn’t truly the fall season until I did.

8. The Wolf Man (1941)

Ahh...another oldie but a goodie! I feel like I can safely assume this one needs no explanation. I do want my nephews and nieces to know the genre roots, eventually. The Wolf Man was (and still is) my favorite classic monster. Maybe the wolf isn’t as emotionally gripping as Frankenstein’s monster, or as sexual as The Count, but he’s got good hair.

7. Coraline (2009)

Before my nieces & nephews delve into this film for the first time, I hope they start by reading Neil Gaiman’s original book. It’s got the creepy, it’s got the whimsical, and it’s got an adorable, stop-motion animated little girl with blue hair. Coraline is a smart and plucky heroine who travels into a scary alternate reality and HANDLES that shit. The dialogue is funny without having to ever play "dumb" for the family audience.

6. Are You Afraid of the Dark? (1990-2000)

Obviously, this is a TV show and not a movie - but it's still deserving of a place on my list. Words cannot express how badly I wanted to be in a kick-ass scary story circle like The Midnight Society. That’s probably the dream for all little horror fans. Oh, and what about that one episode with the girl who’s slowly turning into a doll? Fucking frightening, amirite??

5. Stephen King's IT (1990)

I hope that someday my nieces/nephews and I can watch IT, followed by the promising-looking remake. This was the movie that started my lifelong devotion to Stephen King. Telling stories from the POV of the kids is a user-friendly way to get the youth into the genre. Just forward all those therapy bills for the coulrophobia treatments directly to me.

4. The Watcher in the Woods (1980)

Another Disney offering, this little known gem is pure gold, people. Those of us who were raised on this CREEPY af movie form a tight-knit little cult. The basic premise is that an American family moves into a big old house near the woods in England. A young girl, Karen, lived there years before and mysteriously vanished. The “present day” kids begin to unravel the truth about what happened to poor Karen. It’s cheesy fun with visuals that still haunt me to this day.

3. Goosebumps (1995-1998) & R.L. Stine's The Haunting Hour (2010-2014)

Since both of these come from the mastermind of R.L. Stine, I counted them as one. I can only hope the children in my life end up loving R.L. Stein’s macabre little world as much as I still do. There’s some kind of creature, ghoul, living dummy, or evil cuckoo clock tale for everyone’s tastes. One of my favorite things about R.L. Stein’s stories? They don’t usually have happy endings. Toughen up, kids! Welcome to horror!

2. The Witches (1990)

Just because an evil witch turns you into a mouse, doesn’t mean that you should give up on trying to destroy them and save the day. Who didn’t get the pants scared off them as a kid after those ladies peeled off their disguises and unveiled their diabolical plan to rid England of all children?! Angelica Huston is a fierce Goddess in this role. Slay, mama, slay.

1. Return to Oz (1985)

I’m sure everyone on planet Earth is sick of me talking about this movie and how much I adore it. Return to Oz shaped my love of horror and dark fantasy. This “sequel” to the classic story picks up with a much younger Dorothy, after she gets back from her original adventure in Oz. She’s about to have her brain fried in a crude psychiatric facility when she’s suddenly transported right back to Oz. There she meets all sorts of mutants, and a wicked witch named Mombi, who can take off her head and exchange it with one of the thirty extras she keeps in glass and golden cabinets. Did I mention this is a kid’s movie? Cool. One of the best parts about this tale is that it suggests Dorothy may just be insane and not an inter-dimensional traveler after all. I’m a romantic, so I choose to believe the former. I am ecstatic at the idea of one day introducing this twisted, fun (and it is really fun), creepy movie to a new generation.

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Honorable mentions:

Hocus Pocus (1993)

Another staple, beloved by many, and also released by Disney. If you haven’t watched and loved this movie, I kindly suggest you stop living under a rock and do so immediately. This one certainly helped fuel my obsession with Halloween, but not necessarily with horror. I’m sure the kids will see this one a million times without any help from me.

The Craft (1996)

I watched this one during my formative years and I mean I watched it a lot. My sister, cousin, and I were OBSESSED with this movie. Now that we’re adults, I’m so happy to see that other people our age binged out on The Craft as well. It was a call-to-arms for misfits who didn’t fit it in at school. I’m getting worried that the film industry doesn’t make stuff like this for spooky teens anymore. C’mon, Hollywood! Prove me wrong and give my nieces & nephews movies like this to grow up on!

~ Sandra (@LilMsMnstr)