Best Horror Movies of 2016: Amy's Picks

Are you sick of Best of the Year Lists yet? I hope not, because I've been putting mine off as long as possible. But for the best possible reason, I swear! There's no denying it has been a banner yeah for horror. In addition to being some of the highest-grossing films of the year, we saw a flood of critically acclaimed horror offerings stepping out of their midnight slots to become festival favorites. There have been so many flipping fantastic horror movies in 2016 that I've got a great list here for you even though I still haven't gotten to see Raw, Train to Busan or Demon. And I've probably missed a bunch of others. An embarrassment of riches, 2016. And since we know the greatest horror films are made during times of social upheaval, it looks like 2017 is going to produce even more riches. So, we've got that going for us. Anyway, here you go. And just to make it more difficult on myself, they're in order...

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10. The Monster

This was a late addition to the list, knocking Green Room out of my top ten. Why? On the surface it's a creature feature in the most traditional & satisfying sense. I'm sure you'll be as psyched as I was to find that the monster is an actual person in a costume. That alone would almost be enough to earn the movie a spot on my list, but the heartbreakingly realistic mother-daughter relationship that is revealed through well placed flashbacks gives it an added layer of pathos that elevates it to something really special.

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9. The Greasy Strangler

Bless this movie's weird little heart. I haven't seen anything this gleefully nutty in a long time. Never thought I would consider a movie filled with grease & penises to be refreshing, but here we are.

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8. The ABCs of Death 2.5

Another unexpected surprise, this anthology featured more new talent than a year's worth of horror convention screenings, all trying their very hardest & all seeming to have a blast doing so. Almost every short is a winner, which is more than can be said for the previous offerings in the series. 

Listen to our episode on The ABCs of Death 2.5

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7. The Invitation

The Invitation answers the age-old question "Could this party possibly get any worse?" Yes, my friends, it could. Great performances & expert direction put us on edge almost immediately, despite the deliberate pace & slow build. This is a great return to form for Karyn Kusama, whose last couple films were ruined by studio interference. I can't wait to see what she does next.

Listen to our episode on The Invitation

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6. Under the Shadow

Last year we had A Girl Walks Home Alone at Night, which explored the role of women in the middle east. This year we have a more straightforward but no less fascinating depiction of the same topic. Some of the special effects missed the mark, but Under the Shadow ultimately succeeds in using the supernatural to make us feel the real horrors of war & oppression.

Listen to our episode on Under the Shadow

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5. I Am the Pretty Thing That Lives In the House

This movie about a Shirley Jackson-esque author has the feel of one of her books. It's quiet, understated & eerie, & while not much happens, it casts a kind of spell on you. While admittedly not suited to everyone's taste, it worked for me like wow.

Listen to our episode on Pretty Thing

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4. Baskin

Not since Hellraiser & Event Horizon have we gotten such a visceral & horrifying glimpse into hell. You wouldn't think the humor or the sing along scene would work with that, but it totally does. If you haven't seen it I'm sure that sounds ridiculous, but you're just gonna have to trust me.

Listen to our episode on Baskin

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3. Darling 

If you're going to make an homage picture, you could certainly do worse than Repulsion. As uneven as Mickey Keating's other movies have been, this one feels like it popped out of his head fully-formed. Every sound, every flickering shot & every change in expression from the excellent Lauren Ashley Carter contributes to one unnerving little movie.

Listen to our episode on Darling

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2. The Eyes of My Mother

One of the coolest things about horror movies in 2016 is how many great first features we saw. Six out of the ten on this very list in fact, including the top two. Nicholas Pesce came seemingly out of nowhere & dropped this gorgeous movie on us, which gives us a look at the making of a psychopath from her own point of view. 

Listen to our episode on The Eyes of My Mother

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1. The Witch

What's left to say about The Witch? Praise has been heaped all over this movie like so much chopped wood falling on your dad's head. So allow me to remind you about the scene pictured here. Remember this part? How chillingly ambiguous it is about whether the boy is actually being delivered from suffering by God or is only mocking his family's piety? That's powerful stuff. What makes The Witch an instant classic is that nearly every scene in the movie is just as powerful as this one. 

Listen to our episode on The Witch

11 of the Best & Worst Horror Dads

I'm a firm believer of "better late than never" so, depite being one day late, here is a list of 11 of the Best & Worst Horror Dads. Obviously there will be more dads on the "bad" end of the spectrum - we do cover horror here, after all. Without further ado...horror dads:

Nathan Grantham (Creepshow, 1982)

This black comedy/horror anthology was directed by George A. Romero and written by Stephen King (his debut into screenwriting as a matter of fact). Father’s Day is the first of five short stories and was written by King specifically for the film. It centers around the death of family patriarch Nathan and his daughter, Bedelia, who is the one responsible for Mr. Grantham’s untimely demise. On her way to a family dinner, Bedelia stops at her late father’s grave to drunkenly reminisce about killing him. In her drunken stupor, she spills her bottle of whiskey onto the grave, which inexplicably reanimates her father’s corpse, who is bent on revenge! Creepshow was a staple Blockbuster pick, when I was a kid - I haven’t seen it in a while but, it’s worth checking out if you’re an 80’s kid who’s never seen it.
Verdict: Bad Undead Dad

George Lutz (Amityville Horror, 1979)

Maybe you’ve been living under a rock, maybe you don’t like true crime, maybe you don’t love horror - I don’t know. I don’t judge. However, if you’re unfamiliar with the story that inspired the Amityville Horror book and movies, here it is: In the evening of November 13, 1974, Ronald DeFeo, Jr. murdered six members of his family, in their Amityville home. He was eventually convicted of second-degree murder, in November of 1975. In December 1975, the Lutz family moved into the home, only to move right back out 28 days later. Their reason for leaving? A never-ending series of paranormal occurrences tormented them until they could no longer take it. In the 1979 film, Amityville Horror, the patriarch of the Lutz household, George Lutz, is depicted as a man who is not in the running for any “father of the year” prize. Struggling financially, he doesn’t take the sudden onset of demonic activity in his new house very well. What results is a movie that should be included on any list of “horror classics.”
Verdict: Bad Dad

Louis Creed (Pet Sematary, 1989)

Directed by Mary Lambert and written by King, this movie is tragic and terrifying (or, at least, it was when I first watched, as a kid). When Louis’ young son, Gage, is killed by a truck - right outside their house - he decides, despite a few ominous warnings, to bury him in the local "pet cemetery." Word on the street is, people buried in this cemetary will be brought back to life as some sort of creepy zombie...or something like that. Despite all the horrible shit that takes place after Gage is buried in the cemetery, you can’t really blame Louis for doing what he did - he was a grieving father. Although, his actions caused one of the most horrible scenes in my memory of horrible scenes, and it involves an achilles’ tendon and a box cutter.
Verdict: Good Dad (who simply made questionable choices)

Dr. Pierre Brasseur (Eyes Without a Face, 1960)

This movie shows what can happen because of the actions of a desperate father. Granted, those “actions” include murdering women to harvest their faces. But if you’ve never been in his shoes, you can’t really judge, right? Regardless, the father does commit murder to help his daughter, but it’s an almost creepy help that seems to go slightly beyond just him trying to alleviate his guilt. It’s almost as if he wants to keep her prisoner as a young-looking porcelain doll. An older film, this movie has successfully stood the test of time and remains a seriously unsettling watch.
Verdict: Bad Dad

“Daddy” Robeson (The People Under the Stairs, 1991)

Not an actual father, per se, but a guy does get referred to as “daddy.” This 1991 horror film was written and directed by master of early 90’s horror, Wes Craven. It tells the story of young rapscallion, Poindexter “Fool” Williams, and his rather unfortunate encounter with the Robesons. The Robesons are not your typical American family; There’s Mommy and Daddy Robeson and young Alice Robeson. It’s important to note “Mommy” and “Daddy” are actually brother and sister (from a long line of inbred crazies) and, in addition to Alice, they have lots of other children hidden under the stairs. This movie disturbed me more than any other when I was a kid, which only resulted in it being one of my video store go-to choices. Personally, I prefer this movie to the Nightmare on Elmstreet films - it's just so messed-up in many ways.
Verdict: Bad “Daddy”

Sean Bridgers (The Woman, 2011)

Directed by Lucky McKee, this film is an adaptation of the novel of the same title, written by Jack Ketchem (who actually joined forces with McKee to write the screenplay). It introduces you to a seemingly normal family, the Cleeks, and their new family “pet project.” The big problem is the task that has been assigned to the family by their dear ol’ dad, Chris, is to break or “civilize” a wild woman, who he captured in the woods. Right off the bat, this is a little more than any dad should ever ask of his family; however, Chris Cleek is a controlling, misogynistic psychopath who isn’t happy unless he’s in complete control of everyone and everything. That’s some real “feel-good” stuff, right? Regardless, The Woman is an interesting story and a surprisingly watchable movie (my biggest complaint is with the soundtrack...I hate it).
Verdict: Really just the worst Dad

Jack Torrence (The Shining, 1980)

It’s impossible to have a list of good & bad dads of horror and not include Jack Torrence. No one could possibly forget Jack Nicholson’s terrifying performance as Jack, caretaker of the Overlook Hotel, in Stanley Kubrick’s The Shining. Jack goes a bit nuts while locked up for months in a hotel with more than a few lingering and undead guests. There’s no shortage of creepy figures and terrifying moments in The Shining, and Jack Torrence is really at the top of this list. Even before shit starts to go down at the Overlook, we’re already made aware of Jack’s past (very recent past, actually) drinking problem, which eventually resulted in him dislocating his son Danny’s shoulder. Combine that with all the negative business in the hotel and you know Jack can’t possibly remain sane through this ordeal. After all, “all work and no play makes Jack a dull boy.”
Verdict: Insanely Bad Dad

Jerry Blake (The Stepfather, 1987)

It’s got to be hard enough for a child to get used to a new stepfather in their lives. So imagine how hard it would be if your stepfather was a murderous psychopath? Also, it’s loosely based on the life of actual killer, John List. You pretty much discover right away that Jerry is someone to be afraid of, and you spend a good portion of the movie worried for his new wife and stepdaughter. If you haven’t seen this and feel like checking it out, please do yourself a favor and watch the original. The 2009 remake was a steaming pile.
Verdict: Bad Stepdad

Henry Spencer (Eraserhead, 1977)

A lot of folks aren’t into David Lynch and that’s totally fair. His movies are not for everyone and require viewers to really pay attention and get sucked in. If you’re able to do that, then you’re ready to sit through some terrifying yet, rather understated, examples of horror. Eraserhead is the story of Henry, a man just trying to get by in the nightmare of a world in which he happens to exist. He has a small family but a “family man” he is not. His one and only child has the face that only a mother could love. So when Henry is left alone to care for the kid, he essentially loses his gd mind and we get to watch the horrible process.
Verdict: “Troubled” Bad Dad

William (The VVitch, 2016)

The most recent of the films in this list but since the family patriarch, William, was certainly a key player in Robert Eggers’ directorial debut, it would be a shame to leave him off. Taking place in 1630’s New England, one has to set aside personal opinions regarding religion in order to objectively look at William’s strengths. He clearly loves his wife and his kids and does what he is able in order to provide for them. Sure, he is a devout and strict “man of god”, which in and of itself is a bit on the scary side, but who wasn’t during those crazy times (other than the witches, of course)? The fear and anxiety that surrounded this family -- directly related to their religious beliefs -- was terrifying in its own right. Unfortunately for William, no amount of faith or religious dedication was going to help him once his lovely daughter was singled out for inclusion in the local coven.
Verdict: “Good-Intentioned” Dad

Robert Thorn (The Omen, 1976)

Let’s just get one thing out of the way, Robert Thorn’s evil little offspring, Damien, definitely had it coming. Even though he isn’t the true father of Damien, he does the responsible thing and destroys his son for the sake of all that is good. Wonderfully acted by Gregory Peck, Robert Thorn tries to do the best he can for young Damien but, in the end, the best thing is to destroy him. Not to mention, in addition to trying to be a good father to Damien, Robert is a loving and devoted husband, as evidenced by his reaction to hearing of his wife’s death. The Omen is a great horror classic that has been “blessed” with both sequels and remakes - none of which were actually needed.
Verdict: Good “Dad”

That's it for my list. As per usual, there are some honorary mentions:

• Dad Meiks (Frailty, 2001)
• Frank Parker (We Are What We Are, 2011 & 2013)
• Freddy (Freddy's Dead: The Final Nightmare, 1991)

Are there any you think should be added to the list? Let us know!

10 Mexican Horror Movies for Cinco de Mayo

Cronos (1993) Rated R

Director: Guillermo del Toro | Writer: Guillermo del Toro | Stars: Federico Luppi, Ron Perlman, Claudio Brook

Horror movies often feature some mysterious device that either grants its owner some superhero ability or curses them forever. Cronos is a movie about the latter. Some strange device, designed to grant its owner eternal life, is discovered after hundreds of years, and it doesn’t bring anything good with it. This is the first of two Guillermo del Toro entries on this list (no surprise there) - though, technically, he’s only responsible for the screenplay in the second one. Still, if you like del Toro’s work at all, you should add these to your “to watch” list.

Santa Sangre (1989) Rated NC-17

Director: Alejandro Jodorowsky | Writers: Alejandro Jodorowsky (story & screenplay), Roberto Leoni (adaptation & screenplay), Claudio Argento (screenplay) | Stars: Axel Jodorowsky, Blanca Guerra, Guy Stockwell

Remember when I said there would be a couple stretches, in terms of "Mexican Horror", this is one of them. It's only connection is that it's filmed in Mexico. Still this movie is, to say the very least, something else. It is a weird, unsettling collection of disturbing and violent imagery. A young man is confined in a mental hospital due to the years of violent physical and psychological trauma he was exposed to as a child, at the hands of his own father (who happens to be a crazy, religious fanatic). The movie’s first half is essentially a flashback about the trauma, followed by the man’s escape and reunion with his mother (who was also tortured by the father). This is no Nicholas Sparks-esque reunion, this is horrible and violent and upsetting. Do yourself a favor and give it a watch.

Patient 27 (2014) No Rating

Director: Alejandro G. Alegre | Writer: Alejandro G. Alegre | Stars: Marcos Duarte, Isaac Perez Calzada, Itzel Enciso

This is a lesser-known, hard-to-find movie. You may have to do some searching to actually find a place to watch it but, if you do, consider yourself lucky, I guess. I’m basing that assumption entirely on the two people I’ve talked to, who have both seen this movie and have positive things to say about it (and whose judgement I usually trust). The movie is about a man who starts to notice strange things about a patient receiving treatment at the lab where he works. Patient number 27...dun dun dun! These strange things really start to take their collective tolls on this guy, even to the extent of causing severe insomnia and hallucinations. If you’re like me, this little description is enough to make you want to find this movie and watch it. If you do find it, let me know where, please!

Night of a Thousand Cats (1972) Rated R

Director: Rene Cardona Jr. | Writers: Rene Cardona Jr., Mario A. Zacarias | Stars: Anjanette Comer, Hugo Stiglitz, Zulma Faiad

If that title alone doesn’t pull you in, maybe the idea of a thousand blood-thirsty cats, feasting on the chopped-up body parts of a killer’s victims will. I mean, just let that sink in. It's a pretty crazy concept and, I won’t lie, this movie isn’t really that great. Meaning, it's never going to go down in history as a "classic", but it’s definitely an amusing watch.

We Are What We Are (2010) Not Rated

Director: Jorge Michel Grau | Writer: Jorge Michel Grau | Stars: Francisco Barreiro, Adrian Aguirre, Miriam Balderas

Not to be confused with the other We Are What We Are (2013) that has been streaming on Netflix for the past year or so. That is the remake and, while it isn’t bad and is worth checking out, this one is the original and the original foreign versions of movies are almost always better. This movie tells the story of a strange family who are involved in some weird rituals, and how their weird rituals tie into the fact that they like to eat people. Cannibals ftw!

Poison for the Fairies (1984) No Rating

Director: Carlos Enrique Taboada | Writer: Carlos Enrique Taboada (story & screenplay) | Stars: Ana Patricia Rojo, Elsa Maria Gutierrez, Leonor Llausas

Little-kid killers (not to be confused with little kid-killers, which are much different) are always fun to see in horror movies. So when one of the killer kids convinces her close pal that she’s a witch and that she must now serve her, you know great things are about to happen. I doubt many people would call this an actual “horror” movie, but it could easily be one of those movies that was fun but also scared you when you were a kid. That being said, I know there are plenty horror-loving adults out there who would also appreciate this little treat.

Don’t Be Afraid of the Dark (2010) Rated R

Director: Troy Nixey | Writers: Guillermo del Toro (screenplay), Matthew Robbins (screenplay) | Stars: Katie Holmes, Guy Pearce, Bailee Madison

Those who have seen del Toro’s Crimson Peak (2015), won’t be surprised to know that it wasn’t his first foray into writing a Gothic-style horror movie. He seems to enjoy, and be quite good at, creating a dark, haunting atmosphere in his horror movies. While del Toro is really the only thing that ties Don’t Be Afraid of the Dark to this list of Mexican horror flicks, I’ll take it. Plus, the story is about a little girl who moves to a new house, where she believes she’s responsible for releasing some creatures from the sealed ash pit that served as their prison. How can that not be at least a little bit interesting??

El Vampiro (1957) No Rating

Director: Fernando Mendez | Writers: Ramon Obon (story & adaptation), Ramon Rodriguez (screenplay) | Stars: Abel Salazar, Ariadna Welter, Carmen Montejo

We’ve all been there, you come home to make funeral arrangements for a beloved family member, and you end up having to deal with the fact that your hometown is being overrun with vampires. Pretty common story, really. El Vampiro is one of the more enjoyable vampire movies I’ve seen - there’s something about black & white vampire movies that’s just better than the ones in color, ya know?

Here Comes the Devil (2012) Not Rated

Director: Adrian Garcia Bogliano | Writer: Adrian Garcia Bogliano | Stars: Laura Caro, Francisco Barreiro, Michele Garcia

It’s every parent's worst nightmare (maybe almost every parent’s worst nightmare), while enjoying a family vacation in Tijuano, a couple’s two children go missing. The kids are eventually reunited with their parents, but it’s clear that something is not right. The mystery of what happened to these kids may have something to do with the strange caves in the area...

The Blue Eyes (2012) No Rating

Director: Eva Aridjis | Writer: Eva Aridjis | Stars: Zachary Booth, Allison Case, Rafael Cortes

Written and directed by Eva Aridjis, the only lady-director/writer on this list (le sigh), The Blue Eyes was a Kickstarter-backed movie. This movie can prove a little difficult to track down - I was lucky enough to find it on YouTube, but I did see it’s available to rent on Vimeo. Ms. Aridjis is up to come cool stuff. She’s currently working on a full-length documentary, called Chuy, the Wolf Man, about a Mexican family diagnosed with congenital hypertrichosis (aka “werewolf syndrome"). This movie, however, centers around an American couple who have a life-changing experience on their trip to Chiapas, Mexico. This isn’t your average “life-changing” trip, mind you. This is “life-changing” because of the horrible, shape-shifting witch they meet.